Les Poissonchats

Now before we get to the how-to – did you know that the croissant actually has not been invented by the French? I figure that is a rather inconvenient truth! Indeed the croissant was invented in Vienna, after sucessfully pushing back Ottoman advances on the city. It was the bakers who alerted every body about an imminent attack, them apparently being the only ones who were up at daybreak (which makes me question the lousy guard, I thought the point of a guard was that they’re never asleep, I suppose they all had been sacked afterwards). And Vienna won over the invincible mighty Ottoman. In order to celebrate the victory and to the glory of themselves, Viennese bakers made crescent shaped pastries which were happily eaten by the populace. There you have it. 

It was Marie Antoinette who brought them to the French court. And, surprise surprise, got her entire entourage hooked. The French wouldn’t be French weren’t if for perfecting the art of an already quite perfect dish, if you ask me, so they baptised it croissant and made it a God sent. Wonderfully fluffy, buttery, a hint of sweetness, a whiff of salt to please the palate, mouthwateringly divine croissant. I love everything about it and what I love most is to break off the very crunchy bit in the middle of the croissant before I bite off its tip (I didn’t do it for the matter of the photographs because it looks stupid). Now, I have eaten so many croissants over the years of my life in France, good ones, and better ones and absolutely marvellous ones, yet never have I had a bad one. 

How to eat a croissant? One ought to be in France, to begin with. A strong coffee to go along, dip or no dip, now I am a croissant purist – I like mine without anything, no butter, no marmelade (though Mother makes very delicious croissant-egg sandwiches, but that’s another story). And a moment of bliss, some minutes spent in contemplation of the greatness of this little pastry, meditating in the humdrum of busy Gare du Nord or in the quiet of a bistrot in a sleepy country town, watching the passersby and the old men drinking un coup de blanc at the counter. You should never eat more than one, not because of any health or hip concerns, but rather, because its goodness comes with a certain kind of exclusivity, we wouldn’t want to spoil that, would we. 

How to make croissants? There’s some things that just aren’t meant to be made but spent money on rather. The croissant is one of those. Enjoy!